Thoughts after midnight
- Start to pick up The Silence Of The Lambs
- Put it down—realize it’s too late at night to be starting a horror novel
- Instead pick Self-Help Stories by Lorrie Moore off the stack of books next to the bed that were brought from home
- Cringe at the title
- Start reading
- Remember that this actually contains no self-help stories (thank god for small favors), and instead is made up of self-actualization stories
- Continue reading the first story about a girl who became a mistress, accidentally
- Cringe
- Suddenly remember that there are still pictures from New Year’s Eve that need to be uploaded
- Go through said pictures picking out the unflattering and indecent ones to mark for deletion
- See kissing pictures of two friends who are dating
- Sigh
- Feel alone
- Notice that the male counterpart of the couple is smiling slightly as he’s kissing her
- Notice how happy he looks
- Sigh
- Become paranoid about own relationship
- Think “when is the last time he looked THAT happy kissing me?”
- Realize eyes have been closed when kissing therefore would not be able to determine other person’s facial expression
- Think about keeping eyes open the next time there is a kiss just to witness
- Realize how creepy aforementioned thought is
- Remember being told by Van that relationships are not comparable to each other as each has its own idiosyncrasies
- Feel guilty
- Think about creepy it would be if everyone kept their eyes open while kissing
- Get grossed out remembering the times in college when eyes were accidentally opened only to see the other person looking
- Suddenly become thirsty for water but realize all the thoughts about open eyes have imbedded a sense of fear about going out into a dark hallway then kitchen
- Stay thirsty
- Write unnecessary blog post about it
